Can I Ask for Alone Time for My Birthday?

As an introvert and mother, I consider how much alone time I really need. It’s more than I ever thought.

My husband asked me what I wanted to do for my upcoming birthday. I responded, facetiously, “to be left alone.” My husband stared at me for a second and responded with a “fine.” Sitting in awkward silence I realized maybe I wasn’t joking. Alone time sounded heavenly.

My kid is nearing two years old and before the pandemic, we spent one night away from him, and since the pandemic zero nights away. And outside of work hours, all three of us are together. All. The. Time.

I recently asked my husband what he missed about pre-COVID days Going places that wasn’t work or the grocery store was his response. I agreed but admitted that is second on my list.

What I really miss is alone time. I miss waking up in the morning, grabbing a cup of coffee, and reading a book in bed. I miss mindlessly watching whatever the hell I want on TV and not constantly compromising with my husband, because we are home with a kid and this is the only kind of date night we get. I miss walking the dogs by myself. I miss quiet moments alone in the kitchen or the backyard doing chores and no one requires attention. I miss alone time so much.

My husband and I have very different ways of doing that. He will space out while scrolling on his phone and he’s fine after a half hour. Dogs barking, kid hollering, and Cocomelon blaring in the background or not. I blame it on him having six siblings and probably doesn’t know what alone time was growing up. My twin sister and I are, well, twins, and knew when we needed to do our own thing, which was reading books, alone.

I knew my socializing limits pretty well before I had my son. But that was in the time of events. When restaurants were open and people celebrated anniversaries and weddings with big parties and I had places to be. Now I have no place to be, an introvert’s dream, right? THEN WHY AM I NOT OKAY?

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