Frustration

A Field Guide to Feelings

The feeling that detects the impossible.

A lot of feelings will draw your attention elsewhere where your attention doesn’t do you any good. The feeling of frustration is this way. When you’re feeling frustrated, your attention is on the object of your frustration when it should be on yourself.

Just the other day, I was trying to be on time for an appointment and two elderly drivers were traveling ten miles below the speed limit, side-by-side on the highway. I should have known better, but I was feeling frustrated. My attention was on those two drivers because they were in the way. I believed I would feel better only if they let me go by. My feelings were in their hands. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. The part of me that knows better took control when I paid attention to what I was doing instead of paying attention to them.

The part of me that knows better said: The feeling of frustration is what we get when we try to do the impossible.

Frustration said: Not true, it’s possible for one of these old guys to speed up, or one to slow down, pull over and let me pass.

The part of me that knows better said: Yes it is; for them. But not for us. It’s you who’s trying to do the impossible.

Frustration said: I left early. It’s not too far. I made it on time every other day. It ought to be possible to make my appointment on time.

The part of me that knows better said: Not today it’s not. Today, you’re trying to do the impossible. You didn’t know it when you left, but you should know now.

Frustration said: There ought to be a law that requires old people to hand over their license when they can’t drive the speed limit.

The part of me that knows better said: But there isn’t a law. If it were possible, then maybe there would be. If it was possible, they still wouldn’t be able to pass it and enforce it in time for us to make our appointment. You are expecting the impossible.

Frustration said: They should have put three lanes on this highway when they built it. Then I wouldn’t have to wait.

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